In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
