sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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