Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
