Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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