New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
