Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
