At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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