I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
