he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
