I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Randomize
