Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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