She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize