My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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