11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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