uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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