His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
