i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
