His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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