I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
