Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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