I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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