You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
