I want to stick my p in your. b.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
