idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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