He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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