I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
