If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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