the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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