her vagine was all disorganized.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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