is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm just crazy horny about you
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
