if you like me you must not know who I am
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
