This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
