I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
