Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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