Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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