Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
