just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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