Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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