You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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