she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
