the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
