Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
