Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
