Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
