I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
