we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
