you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
