Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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