I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
