The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I am midnight drunk by noon
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The air taste purple.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
