"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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