I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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