used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Say something about gay babies.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
