love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
